Good morning and Peace be upon everyone,

Intriguing is it the title for this time? ^^
just would like to bring the attention of everyone to this topic since this summer i found out that a few of my friends already gone thru this process of engagement. not to mention, a few that already tied the knot. Praise to Allah SWT for making their dua' approved. May their marriage last as long as they still breath the air of the earth. Those in turn at the moment, i pray that u guys also got the best of the marriage and be bestowed by Allah SWT with HIS blessing.

credit to

1st case.
Here is the thing. from my understanding, the actual engagement is suppose to be the taa'ruf (get to know the fiancee aka future husband/wife) and it is should be as low profile (forgive me for the lack of vocabs here) as possible. The only people that should know is the family i suppose. The ring that a girl wear is only a sign that she is no longer available at the moment since someone is seriously considering to make her their future life partner and they are in a process of getting to know each other better. So, in case of anything unexpected suddenly happen during the engagement process and the couple find that they are not suitable for each other, it is permissable to break the engagement (with full of respect). So, since 'no one knows' about the engagement, it suppose not to cause any humiliation for any of the parties.

2nd case.
On the other hand, what is widely practice knowadays is totally different from my understanding. Engagement for most people is a step closer to tie the knot. Somehow it is no longer a process of getting-to-know-your-fiancee since it is futher preceded with the taa'ruf which had been lasting probably for years. Getting engage is almost as a certain promise of 'i will make u my lifelong partner and not going to re-consider it anymore since i already know you' (for perhaps years). The only thing that cohere with the classic engagement is the engagement ring. Letting the public know that they engaged somehow for me is totally their call [Considering that they have calculate all the probability of a disaster along the way]. about the grand engagement function etc. leave it for the moment as that can be just a way to announce the process.

Here are the few thing that i find quite, amusing maybe for some of us and me especially.

1. What are the odd of someone who u dont really know to propose and get to know u more during the engagement if this is the case? -refer to the 2nd case- If your excuse always been 'i dont know u. so, how am i gonna get married with u' and u reject him straight away, how the heck is the first case ever gonna happen? (i thought this is when the engagement plays it roles and allow both the fiancee to know each other.)
2. I find it rather difficult to find classic example of engagement in actual practice since people tend to choose the 2nd option which assuming that the engagement is a little step away from becoming husband and wife. Thinking again, it is actually true because in both cases (1 and 2) it is a little step away from marriage but in the 1st case, u have the choice to take a step back and not harming (humiliating) anyone unlike the 2nd one which i think might cause a lot of humuliation for the girl since public is well aware of her status. How about u guys or is it really outdated and not suitable for the moment that we are living now?
3. A guy may manipulate the opportunity on a girl during the engagement as he can withdraw at any moment he want. This may be true. Unfortunately, this is totally depends on the seriousness of the proposal. This then goes back to the responsibility of the proposer as a human being to take full responsibility on his/her action. It should also be difficult for a guy/girl to propose and withdraw as many time as he/she wishes since the process involve family too. unless if the parents aren't responsible to0, this may happen in actual life. (O.o)
4. if u think u are traditional, why making fuss using middleman or whatever u wanna call it if your excuse would still be 'i dont know that guy/girl and i dont like him/her'? Why cant u decide only later after u got engage (exclusively for the classic example so that no one got humiliated)? *.*
5. Is it necessary for one who got the proposal ask his/her friends about the proposer? i guess no way one can resist the curiosity of getting to know others especially the one that come out with the proposal. ^^

1. this is my first entry using chrome from google. cool browser but i dont find the marker for wrong spelling yet, so sorry if lots of typos here.
2. i though that buried deep the cut months ago. unfortunately it surfaced naturally when looking at those who got engaged recently. Im happy for you guys but at the same time it bleeds inside. silently.
3. Am listening to latest Black Eyed Peas album E.N.D. may this too finally signal the end of bloody helplessness tragedy. lalalalalala. getting high at 2.30 am. WTH!!!
4. Just got email from smart telecom about getting flagged coz unfortunately downloaded lots of crap movie recently. lol
5. This is not an entry to say anyone wrong or right, but totally based on my curiosity since i maybe a little traditional. o.O perhaps it may also help me to follow the right path as shown by the prophet Muhammad PBUH.
6. Someone told me this evening that Rasullullah left Muaz bin Jabal RA a dua' which he ask Muaz to always practice it (more or less). here how it sounds, 'Allahumma inni a'la zikrika, wa shukrika, wahusnil ibadatik.' Sound familiar rite? but do u know the story behind this word from Rasulullah?

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