Taken

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put Love and mercy between your (hearts), verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” [Quran 30:21]

That's a word that I never thought would be possible to apply to myself  for the past 2 years.
It took me quite sometime to mend my broken heart and I just don't want the same thing to happen again. For quite some time, I honestly believe that I'd sealed my heart quite properly... until the day that I met her.
It all started on that one day when Allah opened my heart and granted me an opportunity to meet her. Long story short, things escalated quite quickly (in which quick is a very relative concept), they just fall so beautifully at the right time and place. I feel so blessed. However, one thing for sure, being at this stage is never easy for me although the journey to come to this point has been quite uneventful, Alhamdulillah.
I wonder what would be of me now if I were to get that working post in Ireland or if I wrote down Kota Kinabalu on the application form for the ministry of health last time. Whom will we meet instead? Will our path ever cross one another at all?

So many questions yet the only thing I'm hoping for is that she will be the one who will help me to complete that puzzle pieces. Biiznillah.


P/s: 
#1. Please bear with me as I am a complex and difficult to understand kind of person, just like other human. Take whatever clues that you could find to understand myself. I'll do the same for you.
#2. Current state: Vulnerable, fragile but yet joyful?
#3. Opening up and trying to be truthful also could be quite difficult for some people, that would include me as well. Unfortunately, that's the thing that we all have to learn to do so that others could understand us. Unless we don't want them to.
#4. "the most important thing about love is we choose to give it and we choose to receive it" Ryan Reynolds


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It is about to begin

In the name of Allah, the most gracious and the most merciful,


I'd been finally hired by the Government of Malaysia. Thanks God. 

Yesterday was the first day of working although it was all about filling up the many forms and listening to talks/advices by some officers and plus trying new stuff such as the punch card. In fact, within this week, it was all about introduction to the hospital and getting to know important stuff that a house officer (HO) should know. A tiny bit of it

Honestly, it was quite surreal, especially when people address you with the title 'doctor' in front of your name for almost everything. Two weeks ago, it wasn't there although I had been conferred on June 6th of this year. In fact, before this, occasionally people will joke about it and I will just laugh as I bear no real responsibility yet holding that title. And as of now, it was all a different story.

However, the induction held on the previous week sort of prepared me mentally on stuff that I have to expect when registering with the hospital and the Kedah states's health department. Although it was quite far from home, the induction place is superb. Living and eating in an at least 4 star hotel is something that I don't get for free often. Everything was for free. We all have to just go there and listen to talks and get to know a bit about being a government officer.

And the best of all is the way they pay the claim here for newly posted doctors. I kinda got some extra duit raya for that thanks to the induction which was held in Pahang. About 700km away from my hometown which means more money into the pocket! :)

other than that, we are also very lucky to have a week of orientation period in this hospital compared to others who were posted to various hospital around the country. Some of them even have to start the real doctor's job on their 3rd day.

********
As my working life starts, I know things might be a bit busy than usual. All I can say is that I will do my best to cater both, working life and family life. 



The above quotes sum up my stand and hopefully yours too.

wassalam.


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Relatif



pabila masa yang singkat itu rasanya bagai berbulan dan begitulah sebaliknya. Mengapa begitu? :)


Wahai Tuhan Yang Membolak-balikkan hati, tetapkan hati ini di atas agama-Mu dan dalam mentaati-Mu




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im telling you

Asriah a.k.a kiambang replied one of my tweet 2 nights ago mentioning about a 'silly things' that she wrote in the past.

Muaz Adam: Living with a past like mine is a nightmare. Hopefully that special someone can accept it 

 whatever ur story is, ur tweet reminds me of this silly things I wrote. haha.


Credit to Kiambang

True enough, these are the things that I want to tell you. 
May have already told you some of them. Have I not?  ^____^

Yours sincerely,
Muaz Adam


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Life as a graduan

Assalamualaikum and good morning guys,

How are you guys doing? hopefully everyone is having a great time in this blissful holy month of Ramadhan.

Sahih Bukhari :: Book# 32 :: Hadith# 226
Narrated Abu Huraira: I heard Allah’s Apostle saying regarding Ramadan, “Whoever prayed at night in it (the month of Ramadan) out of sincere Faith and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven.”

First of all, i would like to extend my since apology for being so lazy to update this blog although i think very few people actually read it. 

Since my last post which was months ago, lots of thing happened. 

-I finally managed to pass my final medical examination as an undergraduate.
-Visited one of the best town in Ireland, Killarney for 4 days and 3 nights. Travelled back to Dublin a day before my graduation.
-Hiked up one of the highest peak in Ireland- Carraauntoohil while i was in Killarney.
-Attended the conferring dinner with the majority of my classmates the night before the conferring ceremony.
-Attended the conferring ceremony for RCSI class of 2012 on 6/6/2012.
Me and Mr Broe, President of RCSI.

RCSI Class of 2012

-Returned back to Malaysia; unexpectedly for good on the 10th of June 2012.
Never thought that this is actually real

-Met lots of friends especially in Penang Medical College (PMC)
-Visited a few places in Malaysia including Langkawi Island, Penang, and Perhentian Island with my buddies.
-Attended the PMC clas of 2012 conferring ceremony.
-Dealt with Ministry of Health, Malaysian Medical Council and SPA regarding the job application process.
-Eat lots of foods and gain/losing weights.
-Attended a 2nd wedding ceremony in 2012. This time it is between Ihsan and Farah in Sungai Siput, Perak.
-Visited the vets. because my cat had a touch of fever. Forced 'Tompok' to take the meds.
Tompok who recently had a fever

-Etc.

So, that sort of summarise everything major that had happened. 

I'm kinda thinking about stop blogging actually. No real reason but definitely because I think I will not write that much any more once I start working.
I will have my job interview insyaAllah within a few days in Putrajaya. Hopefully everything will go well. I actually haven't done much study since May, so the momentum just isn't there any more.
The thoughts of going to library has been in my mind since last week but I was yet to enter the Alor Setar public library. I actually went there yesterday only to find out that it was actually close. Probably because yesterday is the first day of Ramadhan. So, I definitely will have to go there today. 

I guess what I'm going to do is just to leave it like this. Whenever I feel like to write, I'll jot down a few stuff once in a while. This will definitely be like the malay saying, "hidup segan mati tak mahu" literally translated into lazy to live the life but do not want to die. Can ah? :P

I'll write more if there are nny major updates or when I am too bored.

For now, enjoy Ramadhan, make full use of it to seek repentance, find the truth in yourself, increase the faith and stay good. It is a month full of rewards, it will be a great loss if you just let it pass by like the other months.

Sahih Bukhari :: Book# 31 :: Hadith# 127
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “Whoever does not give up forged speech and evil actions, Allah is not in need of his leaving his food and drink (i.e. Allah will not accept his fasting.)”


Wassalam.



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Final of Final


Assalamualaikum and hello to everyone.

Woah...just realised that i haven't write anything here for a few months. Longest gap ever. As usual, blame it on the lazyness and the 'busyness'. 

It wasn't too busy that I have no time to write but rather I feel that better for me to keep certain things to myself.
Looking back, my 5 year journey in medical school almost come to an end. The undergraduate study at least. To be exact, the final of final undergraduate exam is only 22 days away! So much things to do and prepare. Wow, time flies sooo fast!



Again, as usual, when I have an exam the next day or around the corner, somehow the urge to waste my time to write something here become more and more apparent. In fact, I actually have mock exam tomorrow at 1 pm. LOL. Just pray that my brain didn't stop working during the exam, insyaAllah everything will be fine.

unrelated picture from google
Last 5 weeks or so, I already had an exam, the OSCE (Objective structured Clinical Examination) or commonly known as short cases. All praise to Allah, I think i did quite okay in the exam. Although some of the cases were quite rare for me, i think I managed to handle them pretty well. Not able to answer one or two question is not the end of the world! The medicine cases were mitral valve replacement, lower lobe lung lobectomy (removal of the lung lobe), parkinson disease and ascites. On the other hand, surgical cases were full of surprise! I got bilateral breast reconstruction case, bilateral knee replacement, renal transplant and stoma.

This OSCE exam made 12.5% of overall final marks and hopefully i was able to grab 3/4 out of that percentage. 



Before the OSCE, we already had continuous assessment (TOSBA and TOSCE) during the compulsory Beaumont Hospital Rotation in which I think I did quite a good job to impress the examiner at that time. Alhamdulillah that Allah made it easy for me. The review at the end of the 4 weeks medicine and surgical rotation, each were very promising. The tutors were very happy with my progression. This continuous assessment actually contributed more marks than the OSCE exam itself. Nothing else that I could say than Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah and Alhamdulillah.

Since my last post in December, lots of thing have been happening. I went to travel during winter (I will elaborate more after the exam), I finished my exam as above, I'd done a few different rotations,  meet lots of patients in hospital, ranted a lot within myself, feel unhappy about how certain things are, get angry to peoples etc. LOL.

I mean, nothing major really other than exam and probably that is why I didn't feel the need to write here. Obviously a lot of major things has been happening around me like my dad just had a cataracts surgery, my little sister got her SPM result etc. but on personal level, nothing much changes.

At many stage, I did feel like writing about issues that have been happening in the world and malaysia but i think there were many more good places (blogs, news portals) that you guys can go and read about that so why bother. In fact, sometimes all it did was more trouble instead.

Politically, I am sure that many are aware that if I were to write anything, it will be against those stupid changes that the government did and their desperados attempt to remain in power, I better go pray instead of writing here coz i am well aware that the reader are mainly among my close circle of friends and family. So no major impact would came out of it since many are actually on the same side as me. Unless Najib or Tun Dr. M read my blog, I may write something useful.

So before I continue this endless rant, I pray that everyone out there is having a blissful life and always guided by Allah SWT. Please keep continue for my success and also to everyone in my class. May we all one day be able to give back to the community to our best.

Lastly, to the dearest friend that keep asking about any special summer event for me, other than graduation, do not expect to get a wedding invitation or anything. Nothing is happening this summer. 
Other than Captain Jack Sparrow, no other sailor has the ability to sail the big ship on his own! :)

Adios and assalamualaikum.

P/s:
1. Selamat hari lahir ke 50 buat ayahanda tercinta. Semoga Allah terus memberikan kekuatan untuk terus beribadah dan beramal.
2. Tahniah buat adinda Nurul Iman diatas keputusan SPM tersebut. SPM is not everything, your actual journey just about to begin :)


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Please educate, do not hate

I woke up this morning and found that a video on YouTube is going viral on facebook. Immediately as usual I have an urge that I need to watch this viral thingy. However, as I normally attend my sims social first, i let the video get the 100% buffer which only took 5 sec and finishing the tasks on the sims social. At the same time I let the video play by itself and with all the lagging due to flash player and my computer RAM, i still can hear that the people within the video was talking about hudud and I immediately know that this is some video that was made by pemuda to explain misconception about hudud among muslim and non muslim alike.


As for me, i think this is an absolutely brilliant attempt to counter some misconception regarding hudud which rarely explained to the public. Anyone that tried to explain it will be labelled as an opposition since this issue was brought in by the opposition party in Malaysia nearly some 50 years ago or maybe even earlier or slightly later.

It may seems barbaric even by hearing the kind of thing that someone who is guilty of charge have to go through but as explained in the video, the enforcement of the law isn't easy and it require very specific type of situation. 

People sometime judge the implementation of hudud among the muslim alone as injustice but think carefully, if u  are a muslim and guilty for that specific mistake and then being sentenced according to the Islamic way (hudud), at least in the hereafter you will hopefully receive less punishment as you have got the kind of punishment that Allah SWT has command. Plus, the definition of justice it self also sometimes varies according to culture and religion. In Islam, being just in a crude way is translated as putting something at its own place/ doing something accordingly. For instance, you will not be just if you have a twin son and a daughter but during their birthday, you buy both of them barbie dolls??!! Same goes to 5 times daily prayer. As a muslim, would you argue that it isn't fair because the non believer do not pray 5 times a days? Unless u are total idiot, you probably would!

Still, the conventional law will always be there as it is part of taazir in Islam. so, why even afraid of hudud if u think you will not even do the crime in the first place and the conventional law is there anyway.

The next argument is the very basic of islamic fundemental. To accept everything that come with a "package" of Islam once you say the shahadah with a full understanding of it. People know that Islam is a way of life and not just another religion. Many people say shahadah but very few really understand the obligation obligation after that. That is why probably many still do not practice even the basic of Islam. Praying 5 times a day, fasting 30 days during the month of Ramadhan, pay the zakat and go to hajj.

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱدۡخُلُواْ فِى ٱلسِّلۡمِ ڪَآفَّةً۬ وَلَا تَتَّبِعُواْ خُطُوَٲتِ ٱلشَّيۡطَـٰنِ‌ۚ إِنَّهُ ۥ لَڪُمۡ عَدُوٌّ۬ مُّبِينٌ۬ - ٢٠٨
O ye who believe! enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the Evil One; for he is to you an avowed enemy. (208)

Last but not least, this video is only available in Malay language with no subs but I hope the director or the video editor would put in English and possibly mandarin and tamil subs later on. This issue isn't a local Malaysian issue but one of the foundation in Islam as well and possibly  an "alternative" to the conventional law being used nowadays to curb socials problems.

Finally, enjoy the video itself. I will update later if they put the subtitle for this video. :)




Thanks for reading.


P/S:
1. Even if you dont agree, if you are a muslim, think again before you say something about hudud because you may never know that you actually go against your faith. I ask for Allah protection against this.
2. Bear in mind that it is your choice and if you leave this part of your faith, you will be accounted responsible in the hereafter. Same as prayer, fasting and so on.


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My First

It all happened last Wednesday (7/12/2011). The date would probably be hard to remember but definitely I will treasure the experience. First time ever performing a surgery! I stick a scalpel into a lump of a golf-ball's size on someone's neck to remove the abscess and on another occasion, I also removed some adenoids tissue. Alhamdulillah.

Although before this I assisted in a few procedures including caesarean section, popliteal artery bypass, anterior resection of the bowel and a few more, this one was special to me as I held the scalpel on my own and making the incision myself. A very rare experience for medical students I think.


The consultant ear nose and throat (ENT) surgeon first asked me if I ever seen an abscess and perform incision and drainage. While looking straight at him, I answered that I'd seen pericolonic (around the large bowel) abscess but never done any kind of incision and drainage. The next thing was very surprising as he asked me if I want to do any surgery today. What sort of answer would you expect if you ask someone who really into surgery? Definitely a YES and from that moment, there was no way back. Since most of the ENT procedures don't require a full scrub, I put a surgical mask, washed my hand (scrubbing kind of wash) and a size 7 surgical glove.

I sat next to him while he talked me along the way. A small 1cm incision was made inferior to the angle of mandible area by me although at the end he guided my fingers and push it deeper because it wasn't deep enough to drain the abscess.

Honestly I was quite scared since it was very close to major artery (the carotid artery) of that 7 months old baby. Once the abscess started to drain, the rest was just simple squeezes to force the abscess out. Quite a lot of it came out. No wonder the lump was a size of a golf ball! Within 15 minutes, the procedure completed as no stitch required since it was small and a drainage tube was inserted into the lump so that the remaining abscess could drain later. 
We thanked the nurses and the anaesthetist and the surgeon then congratulated me and said 'you can now tell your friends that you performed a surgery'. I'm not sure if they will ever believe it', he added. ^__^ 



Before that procedure, he actually showed me a bilateral (both side) appendicectomy and also adenoidectomy in which he allowed me to do (adenoidectomy) when we saw the same case after that. This was also relatively  a simple procedure although it carries quite a big risk of bleeding. Adenoidectomy is basically a scrapping of the adenoids tissue on your pharynx. No cauterization even required for adenoidectomy in most cases.

The surgeon was so cool and I can't wait to sit with him again next Wednesday hoping that I will have more chances to perform some minor surgery! Hopefully ^__^
A long journey always starts with a small step. Pray for my success guys.


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